HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN cause i still cant stop crying like a fucking pussy . :D hahahahahas ! i am tired man ! tired of crying like that . i got to stop but i cant like what the fuck ! why am i still so concern about you when you're not already ? is it worth it ? i shouldnt be like this already . i hate this . you're perfectly fine and i am perfectly not fine ! :D crying and everything got to stop . but still , i cant ! fuck ! i am big pussy , fucking screwed up bitch ! isnt it enough ? being worried is wrong . not being worried to me is wrong also . so what am i suppose to do ? so now i realise its so difficult to love somebody from behind . i hate being worried untill i have to cry . cause i cried about many things alrdy . i dont want to end and start a year with me crying . but what the fuck man ! what the hell can i do ? just kill me and let me die , and gorge myself with ice cream and die again . :D i so need ice cream now ! going to be like before again . its so easy to fall down but so difficult to climb up and see the sunny sun again . i see nothing but a black fucking piece of shit ! :D its going to be a month of clearing that piece of shit away , but still its fucking black ! its still attached to my bloody mind ! :D
HERE WITHOUT YOU - 3 DOORS DOWN .  ¶ 11:07 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX SEC ONE DAY CAMP ! screwed up . tired and nothing much happened . cause i was concentrating on you . and that stinks . cause whatever i do , its not correct at all . nothing ! sorry for looking at you . i am screwed up bitch . cause nothing i do is correct . i shouldnt look at you right ? i cannot control myself also . i just want to talk to you . but i guess it will never happen right ? i hurt you so fcking much right ? i feel like a screwed up bitch ! no point complaining so much ! all i can do is just cry what ? what a pathetic screwed up bitch i am ! thanks so much man ! :D really . cause i can never get what i want right ? this is a pathetic post , posted by a pathetic girl who can do nothing but cry . cause she is a fcking screwed up BITCH !  ¶ 10:43 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE after crying out , eyes hurts but i feel better ! so much better . :D see my last time the photos and realise that , i have super long hair but now , its so short ! ahhhhh ! super sad lah . hahahs . realise that i troubled alot of people during this terrible week of mine , so i decided i should sms everybody who helped me . each individual , a different msg . these true friends . :D there are so many that i dont want to name out. :D hahahahas . anyway , tmr got the camp ! cant wait for it . i know its going to be fun . and i am super tired now .
i hope you will be alright . :D and that everything will end soon . :D nothing more will come your way . i will pray for you . i know GOD will answer to my prayers . he wont let me down in anyway . :D i am still here , call me or anything . i will answer your calls . :D but i dont think it will ever happen , if you really need help or a listening ear , i am free ! :D even if i am not , i will make time , because , i still want you as my friend . as my good good friend . :D
so much homework , so less time . got many uncompleted homework . super duper screwed ! :D
ILOVEJESUS !
please answer to my prayers ! just that important one .
AMEN !  ¶ 8:08 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR tears rolling down my face . is that a good thing ? i am super duper worried for you . please dont give up on yourself like that . i want to be your listening ear . but i know i cant be anymore . i am really sincerly worried for you . please be fine alright . i know i cant help in anything but please , i can lend you a listening ear . i dont expect us to get back alrdy . as long as you're happy . i must learn to understand that if i love somebody so deeply , what i want is to see him happy and not a must to own him . just be alright dear . i want you to be okay . i want you to be laughing like last time . before you know me , like last time . i hope you wont find me irritating that i send you an sms . all i want is to let you know that i am still here and i still care . dont rush through decisions . i will be praying for you . if i cant be your listening ear , all i can do is to pray for you . and pray that everything will be alright and nothing will go wrong for you anymore .
did alot of planning and thats it . plan plan and plan . :D tmr got day camp untill 9 . seriously no mood to blog now . i just want him to be alright ! no use crying , i know . but at least it makes me feel better .
ILOVEJESUS !
please make sure he will be alright . from last time till now that i know him , nothing he did makes him deserve this kinda bullshit . i dont care what he did to me already . i just want him to be alright . its his last year , and its almost time for him to step down and concentrate on his examinations alrdy . dont pull him down from everything at this point of time . you can take him away from me , maybe we arent meant to be but all i want him is to be alright ? please answer to my prayer . this important prayer that will make me relieve . please .
AMEN !   ¶ 6:48 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE i dont know why but somehow , maybe , there are alot of people reading my blog . and i dont know how they got the URL but its okay . :D a blog is meant for me to write how i feel and partially for people to read . :D so yeahman . CHIN's birthday today ! hope he had fun ! super funny things happened today . played ball then pool then ball . then movie ! :D got back like half an hour ago only . in another like an hour . then zheliang is going to land in singapore alrdy ! cant believe i am saying this but i miss his nonsense ! :D tmr 9 am got meeting . and i still haven sleep . going to see you tmr . and yes , i am not going to cry or anything . i wont forget i just wont remember . :D since you want me out of your life . i will listen to you then . nothing more i can say . even if now i still want you back , nothing is going to work . yes , the book that made me cried wrote that , its not about how long the relationship is , its how deep is it . maybe , our love was so deep that , i disappointed you big time , and it takes a long time for me to forget about you . that's why i am like that now . at this point of time . if i love you i have to let go of you right ? but what about keeping the faith ? :D love is just so contradicting . weird weird weird !
ILOVEJESUS !
can i pray to you like this every night ? hahahas ! i think you will know that i am talking to you . :D wished that everything will be fine tmr . can complete at least half of my work . :D and for me to get on with life . and stop thinking about all this things . if it is meant to be mine , it will be right ? no matter what obstacles we faced , if we are meant to be together , we will still be together yeah . i just have to keep the burning faith in me . i hope that he can be happy whatever he will be doing .
AMEN !  ¶ 11:53 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO went to church ! :D and it was about looking at the interior not the exterior thing . :D make sense lol ! :D next week preaching thing is about true happiness ! its a MUST go for me lah ! i will go and listen and pay attention like crazy hahahas ! :D then went to play ball . had fun ! because i wore an OBS BRIGHT GREEN TSHIRT that i got it for christmas FROM CHIN ! hahahas . super bright and i love it so much . :D hahahas . its that crazy dog birthday tmr , and i dont know what to get him . so i think i shall just spend time with him too ? :D hahaahhas . and my phone is cocked up shit ! :D hahahas . so borrowing phone from him also ! :D school is starting in one week time and i have not completed my homework ! SO COOL LAH ! hahaahahahs . finally the worst weeks of my life are over . suddenly everything got straight alrdy . its time to get busy studying and i have to really stop thinking about who is that girl or guy and everything . no matter how much i think , i will also not know . as long as you're happy . :D hahahas . like always , loving somebody doesnt mean you have to own them . as long as you're happy , i will be . :D cant bother much about how you're going to scold me . cause if i keep scolding you also . there will be even a lesser chance for us to talk again . and shawn ng said that , if i scold you it will be like scolding myself . :D so yeahman ! just be happy .  ¶ 10:05 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY ONE didnt go anywhere today . just roam around and had dinner with my aunts and grandma . :D hahahas . dinner was fabulous . super duper full . going to church tmr ! :D hahahahas . hope i can wake up . dont want to go and sleep but there is nothing else i can do . aiyoyo ! superb bored . i somewhat , cant take it anymore man ! why is it so fcked up hard to forget about you ? it has been only 3 months but why is it so super hard ? seriously , hate it when the night come . cause i will have nothing to do then i will keep thinking about it . who is that person ? i know i shouldnt care so much alrdy . but , hais .. shouldnt care about it so much alrdy . anw , that person also wont be me anymore . it could be another girl or something . really have to get you out of my head . its so crap up hard ! i am trying everyday le lah . and everyday , i still feel like crying ! its almost going to be 3 weeks plus i think , and i still cant do it . how can you do it so quickly ? can teach me ? i am sick and tired of being like this . why is it so difficult ? i am trying to be alright infront of people . i cant stop thinking about it !
ILOVEJESUS !
please help me . i dont want to have the crying feeling anymore . i had enough . if he can forget that easily , its time for me to be able to forget . to get over him . cause he doesnt love me anymore , he doesnt care anymore . please save me from this ordeal .
AMEN !  ¶ 9:52 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWENTY first and foremost ! :D MERRY CHRISTMAS ! hahahas . i am being lame here . i dont know your mum will read my blog . she has the freedom to read it if she wants . she told you but i never ask her to do that . i never private my blog so anybody and everybody can read it . i cant stop them . this is my blog . i can post what i like . really , you can write on your blog that you hate me more and more . and ask me to stop doing this kinda things . you think i want to do this ? tell me who can i tell . they will ask me to forget about you . and for your information i am trying real hard . it is fcking easy for you but not for me alright . i need more time then you think to forget about you . if your love for me is so less that you can really just forget like that then good for you . you can dont talk to me . you can scold me in your blog , your personal message and everything . but the thing is you cant stop be from loving you if i want to . dont read my blog then . dont care about what your mum says . there is nothing i can do . i cant control her can i . do whatever that makes you happy alright . just live your perfect and better life now without me . you can forget that easily but I CANT ALRIGHT !? just accept that fact !
today is christmas ! :D went to church . saw this skit ! come on man ! why did i give up faith in jesus in the first place ? i can lose everything but not the faith man ! :D jesus will be there to listen to my prayers . like what i say that time , he is my forever boyfriend and will light up the path for me . he will show me the right path to go ! :D then after that went to town and walk walk . with CHIN and FRED ! :D super nice triple date ! :D i swear , we did the most stupid stuff we can ever do . :D and yeahman , i had uber fun ! and we made an internal joke out : christmas is all about lying . =P hahahahs ! but the truth is , christmas is the brith of jesus christ ! :D no christ no christmas ! :D hahahahahahas . i am being holy here . ahhhh ! i am going to be a faithful devoter to jesus ! :D must go church man ! CHIN ! drag me go church no matter what you do man ! i dont care alright ! :D must make me holy . hahahahas . i going insane alrdy lah .
DUMBDUMB ! you better eat your medicine and take care of yourself alright ! :D dont make me nag at you like an old grandma . you silly boy ! sick alrdy still tell me you want to go play pool . you make sure i dont whack you only ! :D 7 more minutes and christmas is over ! :D
ILOVEJESUS !
thanks for being there for me man ! :D you're the greatest and you will tell me what to do . for the first time , i am going to say this , my life is in your hands . :D sometimes , its just what you plan for me and there is nothing i can do about it . it will just teach me how to be a better person ! :D
AMEN !  ¶ 11:36 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND NINETEEN didnt blog yesterday because , i was out almost the whole day and i only return home this morning at 3am . so dead tired . 1 hour plus more need to go church alrdy . then after that i dont know where i will be going . you finally post , you seem so much happier now . i miss you fck up much . so want to talk to you and everything . but i cant . again and again , i cant . cause you dont care anymore . sometimes , i wonder if i am really happy now . everyday , i still think about you . yst , at around 11 plus , me and my friends walked around yishun and somehow , we walked till your hse . but there is nothing i can do about it even if want to see you . cause you got your other friends and you're so happy with them . i sms you . but you didnt reply . i guess , we cant even be friends anymore right ? its just so difficult .
dumb dumb , your freedom days are over . for the past 8 days , thank you for everything yeah . you serious accompanied me through my saddest days . thank you ! and you cannot forget about me you bird brain ! :D study hard alright ! :D
kuku , i dont know why you not replying me . but aiyoyo . like what i say we know each other 10 days only , but we are like good friends for 10 years le . why you say this kind of things . hope you will reply me soon yeah . :D i love your company and all your silly funny jokes , and you never say anything wrong .  ¶ 10:08 AM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN FINALLY ! that crazy dog is back . and when he is back , he keep stepping my leg untill he super happy like that ! :D hahaahahs . cannot stand it man ! :D then after that keep saying sorry . but its okay i forgive him ! :D then alot of funny things happen today . then met dumb dumb again , talk to him about rubbish again . like always , and he did something so dumb !! :D cause dumb people like him will never do anything smart ! :D hahaahhas . tmr might go and play ball in the morning again ! :D super fun ! then going to tan myself again . sec one registration today , sweat like crazy and saw you ! :D hahahas . when i saw you , i thought to myself , today , is going to be scary . then i dont know why i keep seeing you again and again . then there was this particular time then i really want to go over and hug you and tell you that i really need you back . but , i know i wont have the guts to do it . when i saw her talking to you , i told myself , you have the freedom alrdy , all i could do is stand at one side and get jealous for not being able to talk to you . i guess she likes you , what about you ? that's the worst thing that will ever happen to me . i am really afraid that you will be tgt with her . when i saw you at the airport . suddenly , so many emotions came over me . i wanted to cry again . i wasnt alright at all . i guess , if i never see wrongly , you changed your watch ? maybe , it gave you unpleasant thoughts about me again . and you should really get over me . many people told me that the way to forget about a person is to start hating that person . you can do it , cause i know you hate the guts out of me alrdy . but the more i want to hate you for making me cry for so many times , i just think about the days where we were together and nothing would seem to be a problem for us . after that , it really spoilt my mood . i didnt even want to eat , cause i kept thinking about you . and i couldnt stop even if i want to . then , i saw you before i went back home just now , the feeling was different . cause this time when i looked at you , you were smiling . and it has been long when i saw that smile . cause this time i felt that it was genuine . and you werent faking it . so i wasnt sad , i was actually happy for you . i dont know , maybe this is going to last for a long time , so people who are reading , you all can dont read . cause i am always talking about the same thing . and things that are bothering me . i just want to say out my feelings . :D  ¶ 10:26 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN going to see my dog soon ! :D ahhh ! miss him crap up much ! so want him to make me laugh again with all his bullshit ! :D hahahahas . talked to somebody just now . so cool ! miss her damn fcked up much ! :D so love talking to her . she does nothing , but laugh out loud ! :D i am scared to see you tmr ! :D i scared i will cry and i wont be able to cope with it . but tmr , its the first time parents is going to see YTSS so , i am going to smile and do nothing else ! just smile ! :D hahahs . COOL RIGHT !? cant wait to see our sec ones ! :D will be the coolest thing to do ! love it man ! :D we are going to be single for all we care right ? :D cause we will be there for each other forever ! :D hahahahs . why do i never quarrel with you and fred !? hahahhas . i know is always you all bearing all my nonsensical stuff ! :D LOL ! i very rubbish now lah ! just dont want to sleep even though i have to wake up at 5.15 tmr !! :D need to go to school but , aiyah , can be bothered . went to play ball in the morning like super early . then the sun was sooooooo BRIGHT ! then my leg got tanned ! :D with my haviainas shoe print on it ! so cool man ! LOVE IT ! should go and play ball more often ! miss the feel and touch of ball even though i play it like 5 days in a row ! i need my shilian water ! :D hahahahahahahs . shampwooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo ! :D sampson choo ! ahhhhhhh ! crazy calvin dumb dumb ! :D got to thank both of you for this 5 days ! :D hope you all dont get bored seeing me =P ! hahahahahs !  ¶ 11:50 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN how was the birthday party thing ? hahahs . i so want to be there with you . i really want to . but now , i am at home blogging . haven bath yet , stinking like i dont know what . played ball in the morning , played ball after cca . thats all i can do nowadays , just to play ball . ms tham , sms me and ask me to do something . and yes , i am going to do it later with marisa . there is nothing else i can do anymore . :( the feeling is coming back . i miss him so much ! so so so so much . i hate this feeling but i cant stop myself from not having this feeling . i really dont know what to do . feel like killing myself . i hate myself for being like this again ! ahhhhhh ! the crap up feeling is coming back . so want to hug you and kiss you like last time . like , every minute of my life is all about you . i can never have it back anymore ! not anymore ! fck ! i feel like scolding myself . sherrin pok is a fcking bitch who cant accept the fact that she cant get what she wants again ! yes , i want everything i want . but what i want most now is you ! why the fck cant you understand that ? my heart is starting to ache again ! like fck ache ! its too late to say anything alrdy ! everything is over and yet , i am still harpping on the past ! why must i be like this !? why cant i stand strong and be like last time ! fck i hate the sherrin pok now ! i need things to occupy my mind . if nothing occupied my mind , i will keep thinking about you ! why the fck does it happen to me ? everything that happen between this two weeks ! i need to get the fck out of this week , this year . cause there is nothing much more to say , cause it doesnt matter , cause all that i am doing is grumble grumble and more grumble like last time .  ¶ 7:59 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN tmr , i WAS supposed to go and celebrate your cousin's birthday but now , there isnt a need to go anymore cause i am nobody . thanks for that unexpected request . seriously , do you want the books back ? if you want tell me yeah . really cant expect this surprising surprise that came out of you . this is the worst 2 weeks of my life ! nothing is going right . i have so many unexpected surprises . come on man , can my life get any worst than this ? at least , you got over it alrdy . at least , you're alright now . kept playing ball nowadays , and that is the only time then i am happy . cause i got my happy water with me . i hope i dont cry tmr . cause it was supposed to be our 4th month tgt . now i cant expect anything anymore right ? seriously just want school to start . wednesday , i am afraid i cant take it . i dont know what to do . so want to talk to you and be friends . anw , i am still waiting for that message . must live life happily cause i know that there are people who care for me and want me to be alright . and everything will be . going to be left with nothing but only a strong girl that's in me .  ¶ 8:39 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN cause i cant believe you said that . seriously , not from you . so this now i feel how it is like to be talked behind your back . :D hahahahas . got to change me , myself and i man ! :D everything is going to change . tuesday need to go school in the morning untill 5 plus . at least there is something for me to do that day . :D then i wont think about so much things . cause that was the day i was suppose to be out with you . :D and many things that will make me happy . you haven been blogging . and i dont know how you are doing . hope you're doing fine alright . :D went out to play ball again . my hand is like aching now . keep playing ball nowadays . cause nowadays very pekcek then throw ball very hard , sometimes , those who are usually play basketball also cant catch it cause its damn hard . so my right hand is aching now . and i swear i am going to feel pain like tmr . :D hahahas . i am strong and independent now thats why i am like that . for your information . he didnt changed me . he pamper and love me so much thats why i feel that i can be dependent on him . cause whatever happens , he will be here for me . :D yeahman . i am going to be alright , cause i dont want people around me to be worried . :D but maybe , my heart still aches about the fact and i still want you back . =P  ¶ 11:35 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN hahahas . been going back home from 11plus to 12plus nowadays . less than 6 hours of sleep everyday cause always out since morning . my sister pop out a very weird question yst , she ask , why after not even two weeks you seem alright alrdy , and can like go and flirt that kinda thing . i thought about it , what can i do other than move on with life ? no matter what i do , the sun still rise and set . the earth still revolves . i am still not alright , not at all . hahahas . he is still in my heart . that special place that has a lock . and only a key can open that . too much things are happening to me now . i bet if you were here you would tell me what to do . i hope you dont do anything to surprise me . i had enough surprises . everybody is leaving me . 1. you 2. goodfriend 3.goodfriend . i had enough . i got no more feelings anymore . LOL ! two being together , is two of their problems . i said that last time , i still say it now . but the thing is what i realise after a long time is that when you are going to go into a relationship that everyone objects , things would be sacrifices , friends will be unhappy . it just depends on what you're going to do and dont regret it . just make sure you know this is the right choice . i am not like her , i never dont allow . its you and his problem . i wont say anything . but the feeling i am feeling now when it seems like my world is crashing down , all of you would never understand . baby , i really so need you here .
guy , thanks for saying that i treat you like some spare tire . you know what you did . i dont want to elaborate . you make me have the wrong idea . that's all i want to say . if i did , then i am sorry . if i made you feel this way than forget it . i hope you last long with her yeah . you just wont have that kinda feeling of what i am feeling now . you will never understand .
girl , you take things too easily alrdy . but if you really love him , then so be it . just dont regret whatever you are going to do . i cant say i mind . its your xingfu , i cant spoil it . and i dont want to . but somethings , you need to sacrifice . like last time when i was with him , i sacrifice my ever goodfriend . but i still live with that regret in me . move step by step .  ¶ 9:59 AM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWELVE OMG ! got back at 11 today . just surprise and trauma ! :D ahhahahas . but everything was fine today ! cant wait for my nice sweet dog to come back . so miss him man ! his idioticness ! :D if there is that word . :D hahahahas . had a long talk with a old man today . :D super cool . :D everybody said that so maybe it will come true . just going to move on with life . i am going GAGA about LADY GAGA ! i love the song bad romance . :D for once ! :D hahahahas . actually i think this is the third or fourth song i am going crazy about her songs . :D going to be strong and move on with life . got many broken pieces for me to pick up ! :D got to move on ! :D stay strong man !  ¶ 12:29 AM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND ELEVEN i dont care what you say . if it is talking about me , i also dont care . somebody told me i should believe what i want to believe . have faith in everything i do . and try everything i want to do if not i will regret . so what i want to tell you is that i still love you . i dont care if you dont anymore . i know you need time . yah , time . time will tell it all . time will tell you that i still love you . time will show me what you are seriously thinking . i dont expect anything from you anymore . you need time . you have the world of the time , cause i love you and i will give you as much time as you want . you're not feeling good . you're good great friend says you're feeling lost and she hates me from the start . and she is right . i brought this to you . i am sorry . but i aint going to stop here . cause i only live once . this is my only life and i decide what i should do with it . i am going to be the strong girl that is gone for a very long time . for a very very long time . its slowly coming back . and i am going to do what i want to do . what i feel is the right thing for me to do . what i know i wont regret doing . she can hate me for all she wants . i will let her be . cause the person i love is you not her . i am not blaming her at all cause what she is doing , she is doing it for you and it's for your own good . you need her now and that's all i know . i wanted you to tell me how you really feel . i want to get back with you but i know now , now aint the right time . but i will wait . i really will . i came to my sense now . yes , right at this moment . i know i cant force anything on you . i will just let time flow and let you know that i still love you . and that day will come . cause i believe one day you will be ready , and i will recieve the msg that i always wish i had . and i will still love you even if you dont . it aint something that is going to torture me . cause i do what i like and what i feel i will never regret for life . three months , you got no idea how much you impact me . how much of a deal you became in my life . i believe you will be reading this . i thank god for letting you have a great friend as good as her . cause she is here for you baby . she will be and always will , i know . cause i am a girl and my goodfriend is also a guy . all i want you to know is that i am still here for you . baby , i still love you and miss you like always . even if you dont care , even if i am going for a one sided love . i will try , if not i will regret for life . if i try i know , i tried , and i never let myself down . :D  ¶ 10:42 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TEN went to suntec for some bookfest thing today . :D was quite entertaining . before that went to eat lunch with shawn , mitchell and fred . so everything was funny and all . nothing is going well in my life now . people who are very close to me starts leaving me one by one . like last time . the cycle is repeating . they are all slowly leaving me . more problems are coming up . seriously do need your support . i just hope you're somewhere in your heart supporting me . maybe that's what i want in my lalaland . :D everything feels weird today . but at least , i had fun i guess . hahahas . still waiting .. and waiting for that special msg to come .  ¶ 7:46 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND NINE ! if what he said is true , i am sad . cause i thought you still cared . but if he really did heard it from you . then i think you only cared for me in the past and not now . but i still do care like always . that's all i have to say . you need your friends more than me now . at least they are there for you . no point our friends quarreling within each other . only we know what we are feeling and i am hoping for the best . hoping that everything will turn out fine soon . still waiting for that day to come when you will send me a sms . that's my only christmas wish . you will grant that wish right , santa ? :D  ¶ 9:29 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND EIGHT ! i am so super duper sorry . have no idea who is that at all . anyway i am just sorry . i am still waiting for your message when you're ready .

went to bishan , amk and causeway today . cool huh ? like i travelling around the entire north area . i bought newbie shirt ! :D haahhhas . and i am going to wear it and make SEDUCER jealous . hahahas . promised him to blog about him . calm down alrdy , so i finally rmb . :D hahaahas . eight more days , he will be back yeah . :D then fred is following me to fetch him also . cool right ? glad everything is working out fine now . hahahas . i am super duper happy that i am finally standing up on my feet now . not going to fall again about this matter anymore . going to be strong . i think thats what you want . at least thats what i think you want . whatever you say is affecting me dear . even the littlest thing .  ¶ 6:41 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND SEVEN ! i am going to be the old me alrdy . no more crying . hahahs . thank you everybody who has been trying to comfort me yeah . and i think i showed so many people that i cried . hahahas . but , all of you all are my good friends so no worries . i will be glad that you all are here . i am happy that you're doing fine dear . just relieve to know that you're going to be fine . got to learn from you how to make life more meaningful . the only person who can make me smile is the person who made me cry . and you did make me smile . thinking of you i can alrdy smile . no more crying . i will just smile . cause its the only best thing that i can do . i will be brave and carry on walking . next year sec 3 alrdy . there are many things that i still need to do . i am going to stand infront of the school everyday ! :D hahahahs . not a president , just as a vice preseident that i hope to be . :D woooootsss ! :D
seriously , when you're ready , i will be waiting for your message . :D  ¶ 11:56 AM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND SIX i get what you mean . yah , i am rotting . i dont know what to do at all . i rather have school now . to have something to occupy me . cause whenever i have nothing to do , tears just start flowing . you think i want to live like that ? no . not at all . i just need to hear it from you . i dont know what to do . you tell me what to do . i will listen i promise . living my life well , i hope i can . i just keep thinking about the past . its not like i want it . but i miss it . i really do . every small little thing we do together . its easy to say you love someone , but difficult to confess . its easy to love someone , but difficult to make sure it last . its easy to give promises , but difficult to make sure you dont break it . its easy to make plans , but difficult to carry it out . its easy to say , but difficult to do . lastly , its easy to die , but very very very difficult to carry on living .
ps :/ when you're ready to be friends , i will be waiting for your msg .  ¶ 7:21 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND FIVE ! trying not to miss you so badly . really want to know what you're doing every minute . really want to cry but tears aint flowing out . waiting for you to come online , but when you are , i got nothing to say . cause i dont know what to say . really need you back badly . very very badly . do you know that ? i want you back . i really do . can i have you back ? pointless right ? if there is something i can do to get you back , i would . i really would . no matter what it is , if i can do it , i would . cause i really want you back . ynroh , i miss it . miss chatting with you at night about nonsensical stuff . when we both love that moment . can we be like last time ? please .  ¶ 8:05 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND FOUR ! thanks for all the memories . thank you . for the past 100 over days . you made me happy and felt that i was loved by somebody . for all that we have done together , doing naughty stuff in school , spending time together ... everything was fabulous . i am blessed throughout the 100 over days . thank you .  ¶ 12:12 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND THREE would it be too much to ask from santa if i wanted a patch back for christmas ? is it too much to ask for ? realise that actually 22nd of december i was suppose to go out with you . actually i was looking forward to it . but now i realise i dont even have the chance to go at all . from the day you told me you love me . from the day you thought that you were only going crazy about me and werent serious . from the day that you promised me that you will love me forever and always . from the day you told me that nothing could seperate us . from the day you told me that you wont break with me . from the day you told me that you would love me from the bottom of your heart . it has been 100 over days since that day . but now , we are just strangers i guess . nothing you told me came true . nothing i wanted came true . nothing . i thought i knew where we were going . where we wanted to head together . but now , i dont see anything . my parents said i looked lost , looked as if the world came to an end . without you , is that happening to me ? i really wonder . you looked happy . i hope you seriously are . i remember how we used to say that you will come and find me after you graduate . but now , even before you graduate we got nothing much to do with each other . would i be silly if i said i will wait ? would i be torturing myself . cause i know that whatever i want will never come true . i am deluding myself everytime it comes to this kinda thing aint i ? would it really be too much to ask for if i wanted a patch back ? would it ? what hurts me most is that you dont have the feeling alrdy , and i know that , that is something that will be so difficult for me to help you get it back . you're happy , you want nothing to do with me anymore . but i still want to have something to do with you . i want to go out like last time . when you are who i am going to meet . i want to hug you like last time . but i guess it will never happen , ever again right ? i am still waiting . really waiting . cause other than that , i dont know what to do anymore . still crying like before .  ¶ 8:19 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND TWO ! cause i realise that there is nothing more i can do to get you back . even if i cry every day . every night , nothing is going to make you come back to me . cause it doesnt work anymore . i really want to talk to you . really want to spend time with you . but i know i am not able to do so alrdy . you dont want to think about it alrdy . cause maybe all i have given you are all sad memories and memories you dont want to remember . i am really sad . real real sad . putting on a fake smile for the past two days . i really dont know when i will get over it . i really want to get back together , but i know you dont . yes , you made a point . there is no point getting back together when you dont love me anymore . yah , i know its over . but i know i am still haggling onto it , i dont want to let go . cause i am still in my delusion land that you're still mine . and i thought you will always be . but i am wrong . read all your past msg , remember how sweet you were . but you arent now . maybe you are , to another girl and that girl aint me . i rather stay in my delusion lalaland . yah , its time to cry to bed now .  ¶ 12:08 AM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED AND ONE ! :D i am a flustered women . i dont know how to blog anymore . :D so isnt it good . i went to town today . need to kill time cause i miss you alot . i know you dont care . i know you dont have anymore feelings . i know you can start laughing about the matter . i know you're happy without me . at least thats what i see . at least you're happy . and that's all i really care about . since you're happy without me , then so be it . i should stop disturbbing you right ? crying to myself to bed every night . missing every moment that i spend with you . i thought this coming week , i am going to spend almost everyday with you . but now i dont think i can even see you . going to send him off tmr , i am afraid to see you . now whenever i hear your voice i see your picture , i will keep thinking about how you scold me that night and it is very scary . you never scold me like that before and you did that that day . do you know how much it actually hurt me ? hahas . now all i can remember is how you scold me . and i dont like it . you changed . you werent like this last time , not at all . you never do this to me at all . i wonder , what you're doing now ? how are you . i really want to talk to you . trying to occupy myself every single minute . once i have nothing to occupy my mind , i will start thinking about you . i still do miss you and love you . and i hope you know that . i know , you will want to slap my face , hang my call and do everything just to slap my face . so it's okay . i am grumbling like usual . :D  ¶ 10:14 PM 0 Comments

  HUNDRED ! SHERRIN STILL ..
love you .
thanks for telling the entire world that you're single . seriously i dont know whether i should hate you for that . i cried like there was no tmr and apparently you cant be bothered . yah , you cant take it anymore . but thanks for being so harsh on me . cause i just found out that apparently you dont feel anything anymore . i wonder if you're still human . seriously , thanks . finally got back your life yeah . congrats . i think all your ncc cadets are all happy for you . finally got your freedom back and have time for them . took up your time for three months , its time to return you to them yeah ? dissappointed cause you broke your promises . that's the thing i am most dissappointed in . cause you never keep your promise . dont promise me anything anymore . really . not even as a friend , cause i dont know how to face you anymore . cause , i showed you my most pathetic and desperate side and you dont bother . so as a friend , i doubt you will . you're the first guy who can be so uncaring towards me , when i cried like i am left with nothing . you still dont care . you will be the first and the last . thanks for pampering and loving me for 3 months yeah , to take up all the bullshit i gave yeah . for accepting my past . anw , N levels next year . you should concentrate . to all the guys out there yeah , your girlfriend is for you to love and pamper . :D  ¶ 7:44 PM 0 Comments

  NINETY NINE :D SHERRIN HOPES WHAT SHE'S DOING IS CORRECT !
cause she's afraid .
1. MY ENTIRE POST .
hahahas . so just read my entire post man . just came back from leopard chalet . soo soo soo many things happen and yet , i am still going to play ball in another 15minutes . cause it's time to release somethings . LOL ! wondering if we are meant to be . everywhere we go everybody ask the same thing . so there must be something wrong with both of us . i thought everything was alright . but apparently not . he's right , cause not everybody can take my weird character . but sometimes , things that i want are just so simple . i dont want anything big . i dont need the entire world , i just want you and i hope you know . you're worried about many things , so am i baby . so am i . i'm worried too . but because of me asking the same questions , you might find me irritating . maybe i forgot that i asked , or maybe you just really dont look like you're okay . and i am so worried . it's a good time for us to think about it . i dont know how to be the perfect girlfriend for you .  ¶ 3:07 PM 0 Comments