ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE the question is, have you been reading. there was this few months when this blog and the entire point of why i keep writing out how i felt was because of you. you hurt me so much yknow? during sec two i was hurt for alot of months. alot alot of months. the whole cycle goes on and on. but this time do you actually know how much you actually hurt me. maybe one day, just like last time you will be reading this and realise how much of a jerk you have always been to me. do you know how much i cherish you. i thought you know me so well that i would never have to tell you anything and you would always know. yes, i have changed. i am no longer the superwoman you know. maybe you are not destined to be my superman for long. you being my superman was one of the most awesome days of my life. cause i knew that no matter how much times i fall, you will always be there for me. i am always constantly worried about you but are you worried about me? or have you just given up. my heart felt like it has been smack into thousand of pieces. do you know how many times you have done that already? my heart has been shattered into a millions pieces because of you. and instead of being concern about me, you are one of those that comes to point your fingers at me? how much it actually hurts, do yknow? i need you so much now and yet where are you? how many times have i keep crying because of you. isnt it enough? how much have we been through. its all gone like that. was putting faith in you the wrong thing for me to do? so what if i have alot of other friends. sometimes what i need is just you. arent you my superman? so now that i need you, where are you? maybe thats why there will never be two superheros in a story. its either superman or superwoman. there wouldnt be a day of coexsistance right?

we have been through so much in the start of the year. i thought, yes finally you're fine and everything would be back to normal. but nothing is normal anymore. cause both of us changed. and there was nothing i can do about it. you left me again and again. i dont even know whether you're still my good friend. if talking could represent everything, i know you left. nevermind, i am so immune to that isnt it? if you think you dont matter to me. i am sorry to say but you do alot alot alot. i needed you to be there but you joined them. if that was eventually what you really think about me then so be it.

this chapter of my life is done. its about the ending of three of our best friendship that i thought i always had. why must everything be filled with so much thoughts? why cant just one thing be true. so much to grumble but in the end i know that i still just have to stay strong.  ¶ 7:32 PM