Baby boy, i need you.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
HUNDRED AND SEVENY EIGHT
*THE POST BELOW IS NOT FOR THE EYES OF A TEENAGER BELOW 15.*
you mother fucking asshole. you got no rights to lecture me! it is my wall, my status, you are nobody and you got hell no rights to lecture me about it. if writing the word bitch makes you think im talking about her. you know what? it shows alot. it shows that you dont have trust in her and that you really think she is a bitch yourself. i was so pissed when you did that. i am not talking about her. why cant you understnad. there is no reason why i have to hate her anymore. ii dont love you anymore! sorry but the person i love now is chin h.l instead of you. get a life mr. i had it already, i cant believe why you would ask me the question of why i will think its her. she is your girlfriend, and of course she is the first person i think of. she is your bloody girlfriend. i swear, if i was able to post this after i saw all the messages, more vulgarities will come out. i'm so freaking upset. so fucking upset. i cant believe you do that. i dont want to have anything to do with any of you already. i swear. i didnt even think of you when i post everything. stop it already. i'm done and over with it.
chin h.l , i miss you and i so desperately want you to know that. i really love you alot but somehow you arent texting me at all. tell me when the message will finally come will you? its always like that. always! people just have to leave, what is up with people leaving and coming. why cant you just stay ? i really dont know what to say. baby. please text me soon again will you? please baby.
i'm 15, and i have a life. i have my own friends, i have my own lifestyle. i drink but so!? cant i drink. if you dont drink, good for you ! you are the worldest most obedient child. but sorry, i'm not a good girl at all ! i drink, and i will drink like crazy. i will do anything i want, cause its my own life! so you should just not care about it at all. cause i like to drink and i want to drink and i want to get drunk ! get it? DRINK DRANK DRUNK ! so i want to drink and its my problem. sorry, but so what if im the fucking president? i have a life! i really do. i hate it! i want my own life and nobody can stop me, so dont expect a stupid post to do the job of making me change. ¶ 9:37 PM 0 Comments
you mother fucking asshole. you got no rights to lecture me! it is my wall, my status, you are nobody and you got hell no rights to lecture me about it. if writing the word bitch makes you think im talking about her. you know what? it shows alot. it shows that you dont have trust in her and that you really think she is a bitch yourself. i was so pissed when you did that. i am not talking about her. why cant you understnad. there is no reason why i have to hate her anymore. ii dont love you anymore! sorry but the person i love now is chin h.l instead of you. get a life mr. i had it already, i cant believe why you would ask me the question of why i will think its her. she is your girlfriend, and of course she is the first person i think of. she is your bloody girlfriend. i swear, if i was able to post this after i saw all the messages, more vulgarities will come out. i'm so freaking upset. so fucking upset. i cant believe you do that. i dont want to have anything to do with any of you already. i swear. i didnt even think of you when i post everything. stop it already. i'm done and over with it.
chin h.l , i miss you and i so desperately want you to know that. i really love you alot but somehow you arent texting me at all. tell me when the message will finally come will you? its always like that. always! people just have to leave, what is up with people leaving and coming. why cant you just stay ? i really dont know what to say. baby. please text me soon again will you? please baby.
i'm 15, and i have a life. i have my own friends, i have my own lifestyle. i drink but so!? cant i drink. if you dont drink, good for you ! you are the worldest most obedient child. but sorry, i'm not a good girl at all ! i drink, and i will drink like crazy. i will do anything i want, cause its my own life! so you should just not care about it at all. cause i like to drink and i want to drink and i want to get drunk ! get it? DRINK DRANK DRUNK ! so i want to drink and its my problem. sorry, but so what if im the fucking president? i have a life! i really do. i hate it! i want my own life and nobody can stop me, so dont expect a stupid post to do the job of making me change. ¶ 9:37 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN
there's always a reason why people want to drink and get drunk. there are so many different kind of reasons:
1. i just want to get drunk and know how it feels like.
2. fuck my life, my family and school, i want to drink.
3. screw you, you cant control me!
4. troubles.
5. drinking rules, and it makes you forget about things.
and i drank during the chalet, desperately wanting to get drunk and forget about everything. during the whole time of the chalet, i was thinking about you. really thinking about everything that happened, and i'm sorry baby. i cried the hell out of myself. i need you so badly without me, myself knowing it. i just need you to be in my life. i dont want anybody to walk into my life and just walk out. cause i know that somewhat or rather, you will always have a place in my heart. and no one can replace that place you have in my heart. where are you? 6 more days, its your birthday, am i suppose to wish you? when i was tipsy and totally feel like wasting myself, i wanted to send you a text, just to let you know that i love you baby. just to let you know that it has been months, but i still love you. it aint that easy and i hate it for being like that. tell me why, but being with you, makes me feel so comfortable. still remembering the time we got together, you took up the challenge of wanting to make me forget about him. and you did, you replace him in being the most important person. but then soon after you left. so now, tell me what am i suppose to do. i still want to drink and get wasted. like totally drunk. no matter how much i want to say that i love my family so much, it stinks the fuck out of everything. my sister smokes, she drinks, but i think she is the most awesome sister i ever had. and i love her alot. my parents know nothing about my friends. and i dont know whether i should be happy or sad about it? they seem to care and be worried about my sister more than me. its assuring that they trust me, but hey, i still need the concern. they dont know anything that i do outside, they dont know what kind of friends i have. i got so many friends from so many places, yet everytime i tell them that i go out, i cant even bother to explain, cause they wont even know. so why bother. really, why bother? tell me again, how long does it takes for me to breakdown and quit this kind of double life that i'm leading. i'm a person when i get home, i'm another one when i go out. so freaking different. cause there are so many things that i'm hiding that no one knows. not even my sister. so hell with it. i'm so tired. officially tired. and still, i just want you here by my side, baby.
OKP, i hope you're really alright. i'm so worried. i hope you have past your moody days alright. take care and please do know that i'm still here for you. and i hope that i have a place in your heart too. even if it's at a small top right hand corner of your heart. its good enough for me to know that at least i occupy a tiny winy space in that big heart of yours. ¶ 1:57 AM 0 Comments
1. i just want to get drunk and know how it feels like.
2. fuck my life, my family and school, i want to drink.
3. screw you, you cant control me!
4. troubles.
5. drinking rules, and it makes you forget about things.
and i drank during the chalet, desperately wanting to get drunk and forget about everything. during the whole time of the chalet, i was thinking about you. really thinking about everything that happened, and i'm sorry baby. i cried the hell out of myself. i need you so badly without me, myself knowing it. i just need you to be in my life. i dont want anybody to walk into my life and just walk out. cause i know that somewhat or rather, you will always have a place in my heart. and no one can replace that place you have in my heart. where are you? 6 more days, its your birthday, am i suppose to wish you? when i was tipsy and totally feel like wasting myself, i wanted to send you a text, just to let you know that i love you baby. just to let you know that it has been months, but i still love you. it aint that easy and i hate it for being like that. tell me why, but being with you, makes me feel so comfortable. still remembering the time we got together, you took up the challenge of wanting to make me forget about him. and you did, you replace him in being the most important person. but then soon after you left. so now, tell me what am i suppose to do. i still want to drink and get wasted. like totally drunk. no matter how much i want to say that i love my family so much, it stinks the fuck out of everything. my sister smokes, she drinks, but i think she is the most awesome sister i ever had. and i love her alot. my parents know nothing about my friends. and i dont know whether i should be happy or sad about it? they seem to care and be worried about my sister more than me. its assuring that they trust me, but hey, i still need the concern. they dont know anything that i do outside, they dont know what kind of friends i have. i got so many friends from so many places, yet everytime i tell them that i go out, i cant even bother to explain, cause they wont even know. so why bother. really, why bother? tell me again, how long does it takes for me to breakdown and quit this kind of double life that i'm leading. i'm a person when i get home, i'm another one when i go out. so freaking different. cause there are so many things that i'm hiding that no one knows. not even my sister. so hell with it. i'm so tired. officially tired. and still, i just want you here by my side, baby.
OKP, i hope you're really alright. i'm so worried. i hope you have past your moody days alright. take care and please do know that i'm still here for you. and i hope that i have a place in your heart too. even if it's at a small top right hand corner of your heart. its good enough for me to know that at least i occupy a tiny winy space in that big heart of yours. ¶ 1:57 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
HUNDRED SEVENTY SIX
i'm coming back to school almost everyday, doing the same old stuff over and over again. really, i want to step down so badly that nothing can describe. after the secondary one orientation, i will slowly start leaving things into my juniors hands. knowing myself, i know i wont be able to let go. cause i love being in council so badly. the course ask me to elaborate about my council journey. and trust me, its not just about doing stuff and stepping down cause there is so much more to it. knowing that there are so many friends by your side, the amount of fun and laughter, there is so much things that can never be describe. i will never want to leave if i can ever have a choice. i lost so many things when i came into council, my friends, my good friends, my boyfriend. how much things can i afford to lose actually?
i miss you so badly. i remembered how you supported me to become the president. how you comforted me and felt that i was damn upset when i became the vice president. how you were happy and comforted me again when i suddenly became the president. how you tell me and whispered to me by my ear that you have faith in me that i will be the one of a kind president. where has this actually all gone to? where is it? i want that feeling back again. where is it? like i told superman yesterday, there's something i can find in them that i can never find in both of you anymore, something is different and i know it. its something that cant be find back anymore. i really dont know how to find back that kinda feeling anymore, whatsmore, you arent talking to me at all. so actually, tell me what am i suppose to do when you are doing this to me. when you arent texting me, when you dont want to bother about me. your birthday is coming and christmas is coming. i want to celebrate your birthday with you. i want to celebrate christmas with you again! can you please let that happen? is that too much to ask for? or is there already somebody else celebrating with you? baby, tell me cause i need to know. cause you know, i still love you.
superman, like what i said yesterday, somethings cant be found anymore. somethings are different already. i cant find back the feeling we once had anymore. its her and i said it. i'm sorry if it makes you ponder about alot of things. but i'm glad that i said it out. you have no idea what a relief it is. i cant hide it anymore. yes, i am not her fan, i will never be ! accept it. she is taking you for granted and i hate somebody who is taking my friend for granted. i dont like it at all. i dont want her to do this to you at all. somethings are gone, forever gone and we can never find it back anymore. it will never come back. so we just have to accept it and move on baby. cause thats the way things goes. do know that whatever it is, i'm still here and i know you will always be there. i love you. ¶ 3:25 PM 0 Comments
i miss you so badly. i remembered how you supported me to become the president. how you comforted me and felt that i was damn upset when i became the vice president. how you were happy and comforted me again when i suddenly became the president. how you tell me and whispered to me by my ear that you have faith in me that i will be the one of a kind president. where has this actually all gone to? where is it? i want that feeling back again. where is it? like i told superman yesterday, there's something i can find in them that i can never find in both of you anymore, something is different and i know it. its something that cant be find back anymore. i really dont know how to find back that kinda feeling anymore, whatsmore, you arent talking to me at all. so actually, tell me what am i suppose to do when you are doing this to me. when you arent texting me, when you dont want to bother about me. your birthday is coming and christmas is coming. i want to celebrate your birthday with you. i want to celebrate christmas with you again! can you please let that happen? is that too much to ask for? or is there already somebody else celebrating with you? baby, tell me cause i need to know. cause you know, i still love you.
superman, like what i said yesterday, somethings cant be found anymore. somethings are different already. i cant find back the feeling we once had anymore. its her and i said it. i'm sorry if it makes you ponder about alot of things. but i'm glad that i said it out. you have no idea what a relief it is. i cant hide it anymore. yes, i am not her fan, i will never be ! accept it. she is taking you for granted and i hate somebody who is taking my friend for granted. i dont like it at all. i dont want her to do this to you at all. somethings are gone, forever gone and we can never find it back anymore. it will never come back. so we just have to accept it and move on baby. cause thats the way things goes. do know that whatever it is, i'm still here and i know you will always be there. i love you. ¶ 3:25 PM 0 Comments
Thursday, December 9, 2010
HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE
i want to sms you so badly now. i dont want to lose a friend like you at all. do you understand? do i have to wait for almost 8 to 9 months to get a message from you like how i waited for his message that i thought would never come? should i sms you? knowing that you wont reply, makes me feel that there aint a point even if i text you. what am i suppose to do? i just want you back as a good friend of mine now. is it really that difficult? really? damn it! text or dont text?
JIN LIANG! really, i need you so badly. feel safe by your side. dont ask me why but, yah. i love sitting next to you and listening to you talk about your gandie. hahahas. you got no idea how much laughter that topic brings to me. i really want to meet up with you more often alright? :D ¶ 8:52 PM 0 Comments
JIN LIANG! really, i need you so badly. feel safe by your side. dont ask me why but, yah. i love sitting next to you and listening to you talk about your gandie. hahahas. you got no idea how much laughter that topic brings to me. i really want to meet up with you more often alright? :D ¶ 8:52 PM 0 Comments
HUNDRED AND SEVETY FOUR
Tell me what i am thinking now. i really have no idea at all. really, all the comments that everyone, including you, is saying, is making me go crazy. it makes me so confuse and i totally dont know what i should do. i really actually miss you so much. but do i still love you? we dont usually hang out that often. now, i just miss you being in my life. i miss how you would text me every single day. tell me now what you really want to do. :(
thank you, sillysuperman for all your constant messages and sweet stuff. you're the most awesome person ever. everytime anything happens, you somehow know it and you reappear ! :D like i have always said, you have always been in the top right hand corner of my heart. its always there and has never been forgotten. we should really meet up soon ! you should start dropping knowledge into my brain and i should start eating in front of you. hahahahs. that will be the most awesome thing ever. thank you so much for being there ! :D
thank you, sweetlove for just being you. you have been awesome. and we also need to go out soon sometime ! we need to start talking more normally. hahahhas ! thank you for the constant spurring thing you have done for me. it has been awesome. we should go and watch a movie again ! :D
thank you, calvin lee jing liang ! went talking with you today and it was fantastic. you have to stop gambling darling. stop alright ! i have to also stop nagging at you. dont gamble anymore. start drinking with me. hahahahs ! really you should start drinking with me ! drink as in drink and get awesome. we need to meet up more often and have fun !
baby, tell me something i dont know. i want to have you back as my good friend at least. baby, its time to come home. ¶ 12:14 AM 0 Comments
thank you, sillysuperman for all your constant messages and sweet stuff. you're the most awesome person ever. everytime anything happens, you somehow know it and you reappear ! :D like i have always said, you have always been in the top right hand corner of my heart. its always there and has never been forgotten. we should really meet up soon ! you should start dropping knowledge into my brain and i should start eating in front of you. hahahahs. that will be the most awesome thing ever. thank you so much for being there ! :D
thank you, sweetlove for just being you. you have been awesome. and we also need to go out soon sometime ! we need to start talking more normally. hahahhas ! thank you for the constant spurring thing you have done for me. it has been awesome. we should go and watch a movie again ! :D
thank you, calvin lee jing liang ! went talking with you today and it was fantastic. you have to stop gambling darling. stop alright ! i have to also stop nagging at you. dont gamble anymore. start drinking with me. hahahahs ! really you should start drinking with me ! drink as in drink and get awesome. we need to meet up more often and have fun !
baby, tell me something i dont know. i want to have you back as my good friend at least. baby, its time to come home. ¶ 12:14 AM 0 Comments
